The Library
The Library
Listening in Relationships is the Biggest Points Scorer
Listening in relationships is the ultimate points scorer and game changer. It enables the other person to feel heard and often, that’s all they’re asking for. Listening is not just a practice, but a whole mindset shift. Here’s how to accomplish it. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. When a woman is visibly upset and she’s expressing it, or when she says she’s upset [...]
The Most Bang-For-Your-Buck Change You’ll Ever Make!
If you change just a few words in your vocabulary, it will change your entire life—starting today. Go on, I dare you to try it. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. EVERYTHING WE humans create—every invention, every movement, every transformation—starts in one place: language. And not just language, because we could say animals have a form of language, but words. You see, words are what [...]
4 Mental Health Mistakes Men Make
Here are four subtle (and not-so-subtle) mistakes men make with their mental health—and how to unmake them, or support someone who is making them. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. Whenever I called home from university in my early twenties, and my father came on, he would tell the me the latest provincial rugby news. I had played at school but had since stopped. He [...]
The Four Stages of Maturity for Men
There are four stages that men must navigate to reach maturity and wisdom. It’s a path along which many men get stuck—and a path we're not encouraging our young men to take. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. WHEN I was in my forties, I was shocked to be told by the Jungian analyst I was seeing that I was not at all grown [...]
Remove This Obstacle to Confidence
Sometimes a need for confidence is not about confidence at all, but about how you give your power away for all the wrong reasons. Here’s how you can build your own case for confidence. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. SOMETIMES WE find ourselves not doing a thing that needs to be done, or that we would like to do, but are unable to act. [...]
Why Men Need to Prove Their Worth (And What Happens When They Don’t)
Men are biologically set up to want to prove their worth and be recognised for it. Here’s what that means when things go wrong—and what you can do about it. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. I WAS once called in to see if I could help the brother of a client. I found this guy in his early sixties, in a chair in his [...]
Confidence Is A Habit, Not A Feeling
Confidence is not a mood, belief or feeling. It’s an action of the mind that can be developed as a habit. Here's how. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. Many people imagine that to feel confident you need to talk yourself into it. Like you’ve got to have some perfect internal conversation with yourself and feel perfectly confident in order to be and appear confident. [...]
The Real Danger for Men Who Chase Big Dreams
There’s a right and a wrong way for a man to chase a dream. It's linked to people’s willingness to give you a chance—which fades over time. You’d be surprised at how many men just don’t get it—and with major consequences. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. RECENTLY I advised a young man who was preparing his first CV. He was concerned that nobody would [...]
The Purpose Paradox: What Men Should Focus on Instead
Men you don’t need to find your passion. If your passion exists it has already found you. If not, it’s whatever’s right in front of you. This post is also available as a YouTube video (click here). Or jump to the audio version. IN MY practice as a coach, I encounter many young—and some not so young—men tiptoeing hesitantly through life as they “search for their purpose”. Many feel inadequate for not having found it. They [...]
