This coaching is for men who sense there’s more to life than they’re currently living — but aren’t sure what’s blocking them or where to start. Most of the men I work with are thoughtful, capable, and already reasonably successful. They’re also usually in transition, or coming up to one — a transition which may be planned or unplanned, and which they may or may not be experiencing as a crisis. Examples might be an inability to shift beyond a disempowering pattern of behaviour (like always deferring to others), feeling stuck in roles that no longer fit (in business or relationship), or carrying something unresolved that they can’t quite find a way out of. They’ve tried everything, and now it’s time to ask for directions. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing a version of yourself rather than actually living, then this work is for you.

Coaching is usually sold as a package and paid upfront, which gets you a baked-in discount compared to paying by session. The upfront payment also represents a commitment to a process, which is what makes coaching effective. A six-session coaching for men package (plus enneagram report and debrief) costs ZAR9,950 (approx. USD600). Payment plans are available on request.

Coaching is for people within a normal range of functioning who want to improve their performance and results, even if the work to get there requires a mindset shift or some emotional processing. In other words, coaching is outcomes-oriented, but that doesn’t mean it’s only task-driven. It can and does involve deep reflective and even emotional work when that is needed. Being outcomes-oriented means it’s usually a finite process with a beginning and an end. Coaching should almost never be a never-ending process. (If it is, your coach is probably doing therapy when they shouldn’t be.)

Some forms of therapy can be outcomes-oriented, for example cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), though others, like Freudian or Jungian analysis are process-oriented. For the latter, you’re in it for the sake of the process itself. There’s no defined outcome and it takes as long as it takes. At a normal level of functioning, it’s a personal choice, but if you’re unable to function effectively, then you should see a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist.

Coaching done right is a highly effective process and you can usually achieve a lot with as few as four and as many as eight sessions, usually spaced two to three weeks apart. (I offer six sessions plus an enneagram report and debrief.) You can then engage for another phase – or two – of six sessions each based on your need. More than that, and you’re starting to edge into reliance on your coach, which is antithetical to what coaching is.

No. Some men come with a clear presenting challenge — a career transition, a relationship breakdown, a sense of burnout. Others come with something harder to articulate: a feeling that something important is missing, or that they’ve been living someone else’s version of their life. Both are valid entry points. The coaching process helps clarify what’s actually going on beneath the surface — which is often different from the stated problem.

Yes. I’m based in Johannesburg, South Africa, and work with men globally via video call. The work translates fully to an online format — in some respects, the intimacy of a one-on-one video call is better suited to depth work than a physical office.

Chemistry sessions have become the norm for selecting a coach, but that may not be the best way to choose. The coach you feel relaxed with might not be the one who’ll give you the kick in the pants you came for. A well-qualified, experienced coach should be able to coach you on anything — and should own up, and refund you, if they can’t. That’s my honest stance, and if you’d find a chemistry session useful first, I’m happy to do one.

The Four Stages of Male Maturity is a developmental framework I use to help men understand where they are in their psychological journey — and what the path forward looks like. The four stages are represented by colours that map to psychological archetypes:

Red: The boy-man. Driven by impulse, entitlement, or rebellion. Still operating from the psychology of youth — seeking approval, avoiding responsibility, or asserting dominance as a substitute for genuine authority.

White: The performer. Competent and disciplined, but often driven by fear of failure or external validation. Success is real, but there’s a hollowness beneath it — a sense that the self behind the role hasn’t fully been met.

Grey: The man in transition. He’s begun to question the rules he’s been playing by. Something has cracked open — a loss, a failure, a relationship breakdown, or simply a growing sense that there must be more. This is the most uncomfortable stage, and the most fertile.

Black: The mature masculine. Grounded authority. Not domination — genuine inner authority. The man who has done the inner work, can hold others without needing to control them, and contributes from a place of purpose rather than performance.

Most men I work with are struggling in some way to progress through these stages. They’ve either skipped a stage, or are stuck in one that’s wrong for their age. The coaching work is about supporting the transition between stages by integrating each stage with the next. I use the Enneagram for Men report series to guide the journey.

Across cultures and throughout history, initiation has served a single purpose: to move a boy into manhood by compelling him to cross three key psychological thresholds. The three thresholds are: separation from boyhood and the comforts of the mother’s world;  finding inner courage and resolve; finding purpose by becoming a contributor. Modern culture has largely abandoned this process, which is why so many men remain psychologically stuck in boyhood, regardless of their age or achievements. Coaching can’t replicate the full depth of traditional initiation — that would require community, ritual, and time in a way that structured coaching isn’t designed to provide. But it can do something essential: it can create the conditions for a man to face himself honestly and create his own path to maturity.

Every Enneagram type is organised around an avoidance. Another way to say this is that what you call your personality was built on top of a defensive strategy. That avoidance is the raw material of a man’s shadow, which is Jung’s word for the disowned self. It’s all pretty much the same thing. A man’s journey through the four stages of male maturity — red, white, grey, black — is a journey to reintegrate that disowned part. The Enneagram for Men series gives you a sharp lens to see the exact form that your shadow takes. It’s a map that makes the journey simpler and clearer.