Do you notice that if you’re not there arguing and pleading for certain things to be done (at home, at work) or for things to be done a certain way that they simply don’t get done, or don’t get done right? Your presence is like a coil in a watch that keeps it wound up for a short time – but when you’re not there, that particular discipline, or practice, falls away.

This phenomenon is the destiny of most men, even highly successful ones. Take a World Cup-winning sports coach. How many of Jake White’s or Clive Woodward’s practices will be successfully and accurately continued by their successors? Very few, and fewer as time passes.

Nothing lasts, so relax a little bit, lean back
and watch how the game gets played

Even though some men’s desires, plans and structures last for centuries and get taken up by the whole world, they’re seldom done the way the founder would have wanted. Is Christianity the way Jesus would have had it? What about Smuts’s League of Nations (now the United Nations)? Does Ghandi’s India still practice non-violence? Is Mandela’s legacy of impeccable integrity still alive in the ANC?

Nothing lasts. Each one of us is keeping some space open in a sea of being, that when we’re gone will simply close up as though we were never there. So relax a little. Suggest a game, or a way of doing things, and then lean back and watch how it plays out. When it unfolds in unpredictable ways, instead of trying to control it, say, ‘How fascinating!’ You’ll save yourself heartache – and a heart attack – and make life liveable for yourself and everyone around you!