Liberate yourself by saying a simple, clear no

When somebody makes a request or a suggestion and your answer is ‘no’, do you, like most people, beat about the bush and try to let them down gently? Like saying, ‘Maybe, we’ll look at it,’ and hoping it goes away. Some feel they have to explain themselves for hours and some, amazingly, find themselves caving in and saying, ‘Yes!’

If you can’t say no, here are some questions to challenge you: 1. Who are you to think that you’re so great that your ‘no’ would destroy another person’s life, or quell their ambition? As if they could never pick themselves up from your ‘no’! 2. Would you be doing someone a favour by letting them have what they want so easily, even before they deserve it, before they’ve earned it? No, you’d only delay their inevitable fall and waste their time. Things worth having are hard-earned.

If you don’t value your ‘no’,
then why would anybody else?

3. If you talk yourself out of saying ‘no’ every time, what’s the message you’re putting out? That you don’t value what you want. Well, guess what? If you don’t, then life, in the form of other people, won’t either. So what will life, in the form of those people, deliver to your doorstep? More of what you don’t want. More things to say no to, that you won’t say no to, and so you’ll spiral downwards.

In order to say a clear ‘no’ you have to know what you want and be willing to get it – and you have to give up trying to be Mr Nice Guy. And by the way, there’s no need to explain yourself. ‘No’ is a simple word and everyone understands it.