When you’re wondering how you’re doing, so is the other guy
We don’t admit this much, but we do it: We wonder what another men think of us. Often this comes up as, ‘He’s an asshole,’ and we criticise him instead. In other words, as before the thought arises, ‘I wonder what he thinks of me,’ before we’ve even allowed ourselves to think it (because that would be such an unmanly thing to worry about) we block out the thought by denigrating the other guy in our head instead.
Guess what? He’s probably doing the same thing. Yes, whether we admit it or not, everybody’s ego is in overdrive to look good, everybody wants the other person to like them. So next time you find yourself criticizing another guy in your head, check and see if on some level you do in fact care what he thinks of you. (Clue: the answer is always, ‘Yes!’)
If you say something positive, you take
on an air of authority and confidence
If you can admit that, the second step is to realise that he’s probably NOT thinking the things about you that you think he’s thinking. Those things are going on for you, inside your own head. Don’t project your own self-hatred onto the other poor guy, don’t make assumptions. He’s just as worried about himself, and anything he thinks is coming from that same space.
Of course, all this shows up as mockery and teasing, the typical male banter that leaves one guy out in the cold to fend for himself. Break this cycle by saying something positive, perhaps complimenting the other guy. If you do this you become the bigger person, and by doing that you take on an air of authority and confidence. That’s what he’ll think of you!