When it’s over, it’s nobody’s fault
When we’ve grown out of a friendship but we don’t want to admit it; when we actually don’t like the person we’re with, but we don’t like what that says about us; when it’s time for us to leave a job, but we’re afraid… These are all situations in which we criticize and find fault with the other person – our friend, partner, boss, the company, or the political party we work for or support.
If there’s someone in your life who you’re in a conflict with – if you’re spending hours ruminating, going over all your arguments in your head, spending tons of energy trying to make them see the error of their ways, or trying to change them – have a careful look and see, are you just looking for reasons to justify what you really want, which is to leave the job, or end the relationship? Instead of letting things deteriorate, or finding fault until ‘you have no choice’, take responsibility. Make a decision and act on it. Resign. End the relationship. Move on.
There doesn’t have to be a win/lose
every time two people part
Consider that there may be nothing wrong, with them or with you. There doesn’t have to be a winner and a loser every time two people part. It’s simply that your time with them is up. And don’t be so arrogant as to think that they can’t live without you: they can!