LIFE COACHING

What Do You Want Your Life To Be About?

Success can be defined in many different ways. For many people, just having enough money will do it. Some prefer to measure it in terms of the scale of contribution they make, or the quality of relationships they maintain. Others want to search inside, to find meaning, or their true expression. Whatever your question is, whatever you want your life to be about, life coaching can put you on the path.

life coaching

WHAT IF everybody really, honestly, does have a unique gift, something that they can do better than anybody else in the world? Wouldn’t you want to know what yours is? And if you identified it, wouldn’t you want to develop that gift and express it?

Most often, when we think about a person’s gift, or “genius”, we think of the obvious ones, like being a great artist, musician, sportsperson or actor. Then we decide, well, I don’t have any of those, and we put our head down and get on with life. Yet, what if your gift is something more subtle, like devising spreadsheet models, trading antiques or icing cakes? Or even less tangible, like being an expert communicator, negotiator, or nurturer of people? And being able to do that thing better than anyone else you know, perhaps better than anyone else in the world?

It’s never too late to uncover your gift

Some people discover their gift early and life supports them to express it, perhaps even to earn their living from it. Others know what it is, but life doesn’t support them to express it early on—parents don’t recognise it, teachers reject it as useless, or it simply gets crowded out by adverse conditions. Still others don’t even recognise the possibility that there could be anything special about themselves, until one day they grow tired of just going through the motions and finally ask the question, “What if…?”

What if you could discover your own unique gifts and find a way to express them in the world? If you’re knocking on that door, then that would be a good reason to engage in a life coaching program. It’s designed expressly for that purpose.

Then there’s another “What if…?” that you can ask. It goes like this: What if success means being the best version of yourself that you can be? This means, apart from finding and expressing your unique gift, just being a great human being, improving yourself on all fronts, for no other reason than that—being the best version of yourself that you can be. We’d call this personal mastery, to use a term coined by the modern leadership guru Peter Senge, who described it as people’s ability to learn about themselves and apply that learning to their choices and behaviours in order to be more effective in every context. Or we could use Aristotle’s term, eudaimonia, which can be loosely interpreted to mean a process of self-improvement through conscious effort, as a result of which you will flourish in all areas of life.

If that’s what you’re after, then, once again, life coaching is one of the most effective vehicles you can choose.

Life coaching is goal-directed and therefore effective

Of course, for some people, it’s not even about that. Twenty-first century life is so complex and challenging that, sometimes, it’s enough just to get on top of things—and stay on top. If you could just improve your relationships, or make better relationship choices. For some, that would be a great outcome and make a massive difference to their lives. For others, it could be to improve decision-making. Or to handle your emotions better, or just behave better in general. Perhaps to gain discipline in order to exercise or eat better. Or to find a purpose early in life, or to reignite a sense of purpose later in life. Many people turn to therapy for these things, and often that turns into a long, tedious and unproductive search for causes in childhood and family dynamics.

So if you’re looking to make any of these improvements, or get on top of any of these issues, then life coaching can be a much more goal-directed and, therefore, effective path.

So then, what do you want your life to be about? More to the point, what are you waiting for?

Did you know?

Life Coaching is relevant for many more “issues” than most people realise. Of course, it’s purpose-built for helping you find your purpose, improve your mindset, develop self-discipline and self-mastery, perform at your best and achieve your goals. The list below will give a sense of some additional issues that people seek to address, and which coaching can make a difference on.

Anxiety is a common problem that people seek help for. Sometimes, it can be debilitating, in which case you should seek out a diagnosis from a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, and follow the recommended or prescribed treatment.

As soon as you can, however, and certainly if you’re not suffering from a clinical level of anxiety, you would do well to look into life coaching as a modality for helping you to deal with your anxiety.

Anxiety is future-based

The key symptom or indicator of anxiety is being overly focused on possible negative futures, and being overly convinced that they will actually happen. One of the outcomes of effective life coaching is to bring you into the present, and to train you to deal with what’s real and what you can influence, rather than what’s imagined.

Life Coaching can support you to learn a method of self-management that includes setting goals and taking action to achieve them. This will enable you to develop the habit of becoming task-focused, which keeps you out of those bad neighbourhoods of negative thinking.

Depression has become increasingly common in recent times. Statistics show that as much as 25% of the workforce in some countries is being treated for depression. Mental health awareness has led to government budgets in some of those countries being dedicated to treating this phenomenon.

As with anxiety, depression can be debilitating. And similarly, when that’s the case, you should seek out a diagnosis from a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist, and follow the recommended or prescribed treatment.

Behavioural activation

However, the way out of depression is not to sit for months or years unpacking your feelings or your childhood. Traditional psychotherapy does that—it tends to focus on events and feelings and their possible causes. Life coaching, on the other hand, is particularly effective in what’s called “behavioural activation”—that means getting you to actually try on new behaviours and establish those as good habits—and that’s an important proven element in the recovery from depression.

You might also want to look at the context in which your depression is occurring. If it’s timed to coincide with a life-stage crisis (midlife or the more recently defined quarter-life crisis), for example, and especially if a major symptom is a lack of purpose or meaning or direction, then you can count life coaching as a modality that might help you to deal with that.

Depression is set in the past

Just as anxiety is future-based, the key symptom or indicator of depression is ruminating about the past—beating yourself up for things you did or didn’t do, or bad decisions you made; wishing things could have happened or turned out differently. One of the outcomes of effective life coaching is to bring you into the present, and to train you to deal with what’s real and what you can influence, rather than what’s in the past. Life coaching will also show you that you can “let go” of the past without having to analyse it to death—that closure can be achieved by virtue of a decision and does not require an exhaustive rehashing of the event or circumstances.

In all of the above, you can see that life coaching can support you to learn a method of self-management that includes setting goals and taking action to achieve them. This means that you can learn and develop a stable and replicable—and therefore sustainable and independent—path out of depression.

The shift from one life stage to another is often dramatic and experienced as some form of crisis. The first one happens right when we’re born. OK, life coaching can’t help you there. But then there’s puberty, in which case you’ll probably need a specialist teenage life coach. Then comes young adulthood, which includes the big choices around getting married (or not) and parenting (or not), as well as making the first big moves in your chosen career.

Retire, or rewire?

Nowadays there’s the quarter-life crisis and we all know about the midlife crisis. Given that we’re finding ourselves more healthy in old age, there’s another steam train on its way: the rewire instead of retire crisis, or what do do in your mature years.

In each of these instances, you’re letting go of old reference points, and latching onto, or defining, new ones. There’s always confusion as you discover that old tricks no longer work and you have to figure out new ones, and regret or shame when you find that old defences are no longer needed.

The trick with a life-phase crisis is to learn to surf it like the wave that it is, instead of getting tumbled by it. Use it as a chance to ask some really good questions, reevaluate, define new goals, develop a new strategy, perhaps a whole new way of being, and make some solid plans.

Transition, or crisis?

When you do what’s described above, you get to see that each life-stage crisis is actually a necessary and inevitable transition. Then you can approach it consciously, and navigate it with awareness and intent. Life coaching is built for this purpose. By engaging in a program, you can emerge from each life-stage transition with greater wisdom and personal power, and set a meaningful course for the next stage.

One of the challenges people often have when they visit a couples counselor is that the counselor drives too hard towards an assumed outcome—the couple making peace, or staying together. This usually ends up with one person (the schlepper) who feels that their agenda is being heard, while the other one (the schlepee) feeling distinctly unheard and under pressure.

An essential element of good life coaching is finding out from the client what they want—and if there’s two of them, to first establish and agree what they both want. The coach has no agenda and is not afraid of where things might go. Therefore, both people feel heard. This alone makes a massive difference to the process. (It’s important to note that this is a developed competence on the part of the coach—just think about how much people are inclined to offer their opinion and give advice; coaches are specifically trained to NOT do that.)

Life coaching does for people what executive coaching does for the workplace

In addition, a core element of life coaching is to develop an awareness in the client of the power of language and how to use it more effectively. That means, firstly, developing better self-talk and, secondly, improving your ability to communicate with others, including how you send out communication (what you say and how you say it) and how you receive it (how you listen and what you listen for). Naturally, better self-talk leads to better personal performance and improved communication skills leads to improved relationships.

A large part of executive coaching is applying everything that’s described above in the workplace context. Therefore, life coaching can be equally effective in achieving the same outcomes for people’s personal and intimate relationships.

Stress is what you experience when the demands placed on you are outweighed by the available resources. In the corporate and business world today, there is an ongoing drive to do more with less—less money and less time. Technology was supposed to be a resource, to help us, yet in many cases it’s become a channel for additional demands instead.

Burnout is the consequence of relentless, ongoing stress. In many cases it can look and feel like depression, however there is a key distinction: depression is more pervasive—you feel unilaterally flat and don’t care about anything; burnout is more specifically work-related—you’ll still feel better on a Friday when there’s no work, but you’ll feel like giving up as you approach Monday.

Life coaching is a major resource

Your ability to handle stress and avert—or recover from—burnout can be addressed through through a multi-pronged approach: improving your ability to mentally reframe things and think differently (changing your relationship to the situation); getting clear on your values and what really matters to you, then being able to set boundaries and say no; developing your ability to—and belief that you can—solve your own problems; and having a sense that life—whether in the form of God, of other people, or simply coincidence and flow—can and does support you.

These are precisely what life coaching, using an outcomes-oriented approach, is designed to teach, train and instill.

Testimonials

Winning all the top 2007 PRISM Awards for PR Excellence was the final exclamation point and validation of the coaching work that Neil had done with me some months earlier – plus my company enjoyed its best year ever in revenue terms.

Marcus Brewster, CEO, Marcus Brewster Publicity

I believe in myself more and have more confidence as a direct result of coaching with Neil. I would recommend the process for anyone looking to achieve a similar goal. It’s made a big difference to my life and career.

Neil Naidoo, Wesbank Auto

Coaching with Neil has added enormous value in terms of my career as an entrepreneur and consultant. My ability to evaluate opportunities and make good decisions is better than ever—plus I have more time with my family!

James Martin, Vantage Holdings

I found the interventions massively beneficial and my level of awareness in particular is at an all time high. The benefits of this and the visible impact on my business and personal life are immense.

Coll Macdonald, Invent Hospitality

Coaching with Neil was tough, but it helped me to focus on what I want out of situations and people, at home and at work. Also, to create definable steps towards the lifestyle I desire and the person I aspire to be.

Dirk Wilson, Entrepreneur
The impact on my personal and work-life has been amazing. Taking control of what happens to me has changed me from a victim into a successful leader at work and a happier being with success in all areas of my life.
Marpie Betts

Stimulating, awakening, cutting to your inner, hidden self. Rewarding, very worthwhile, very necessary. The process is important to experience if you are truly looking to better yourself.

Athol McLean, Chiropractor

I attended [the Authentic Success Program] looking for answers to improve my life. I leave knowing that I held the answers all the time, I just have to apply a few simple principles in order to activate them.

Guy Johnstone, Hotelier

Neil was brilliant at presenting [the Authentic Success Program] and supported us through the process. I am confident that it will send me on the life path I have been seeking for so long.

Jeremy Kropman, Engineer

If you think you don’t need “authentic success” you are ready for this program. It will open up a new world of possibility you never knew existed. I would recommend it for anybody looking to improve their life.

John Mullins, Coach

The experience opens one’s eyes to the possibility of taking control of one’s future – not being a rudderless ship but rather one that is on course in the sea of life. I’m sure it will make a difference for others too.

Grant Back, Pilot

What is Life Coaching?

life coaching

Life Coaching is not psychoanalysis and it’s not New Age mumbo jumbo. There’s no airy-fairy stuff, no spilling your guts or baring your soul. You don’t even have to share all the details of what you’re working through. You state your own goals, and then face down a bunch of strong, clear questions that give you the clarity to see what’s standing in your way, and what you need to do. The questions are designed to give you instant clarity, focus and purpose. It’s like calling in a lawnmower or interior design specialist. You’ll wonder why you ever struggled for so long with that issue.

Life Coaching is a series of intensive one-on-one sessions of 45-60 minutes duration, conducted in person or by telephone / Skype. (As of June 2019, there is also an online self-coaching version.) Sessions are held weekly/fortnightly for the first phase, which is known as the Foundation Phase. Sessions stretch out to every two or three weeks for the (optional, recommended) second phase, called the Integration Phase. Then they can reduce to monthly thereafter for the third phase (also optional, also recommended), which is dubbed the Mastery Phase, because hopefully you’ve achieved some level of mastery by then and all you need is a regular check-in or booster session.

Self-sufficiency, not dependence

The program is designed specifically to develop personal effectiveness, to create self-sufficiency (the ability to self-coach) and ultimately to provide a strong reference point for an authentic sense of self in a fragmented world.

The questioning process that is typical of coaching as a modality is joined by a process of accountability (checking that you follow through and do what you decide) and awareness creation (how life really works and how, by applying certain simple principles and practices, you can make it work for you).

Outcomes you can expect

  • Being able to recognize and change disempowering internal beliefs;

  • The awareness to instantly redirect negative thoughts, moods, emotions;

  • The strength to change destructive and unwanted habits;

  • The ability to accurately observe and gain insights into yourself (without unnecessary self-analysis);

  • A sense of knowing who you are, what you deserve, and how to get there;

  • The power to express yourself in the world and demonstrate the results that you feel you deserve.

What this can do for your life

  • Improved moods and energy;

  • Clarity of purpose and decisiveness;

  • Being firm, and being flexible;

  • Confidence in the future;

  • Inspiring and influencing others;

  • Improved relationships;

  • Getting off your butt and not procrastinating;

  • Actually achieving goals that you set yourself;

  • A broader view of how the world works;

  • General sense of well-being and happiness.

How is the Life Coaching program structured?

The following are discreet phases. Phase 1 is the natural starting point and is your standard entry-level coaching program. The other levels are optional, depending on how far you want to take it.

Life Coaching | Foundation Phase (required)

12 sessions (weekly / fortnightly; 3-6 months)

life coaching

This phase will support you to:
+ Recognise your strengths and those unique gifts that you may not have given yourself credit for;
+ Create a foundation of awareness about what limits you as a human being;
+ Break through any barriers you may have;
+ Ignite the necessary behavioural shifts;
+ Achieve your short-term goals.

Life Coaching | Integration Phase (requires completion of Foundation Phase)

12 sessions (every 2-3 weeks; 6-9 months)

life coachingThis phase will support you to:
+ Integrate the awareness gained and behaviours established during the Foundation Phase into all areas of your life and in a variety of situations (broaden the integration);
+ Establish new behaviours as habits (deepen the integration);
+ Take the necessary and important first steps towards achieving your medium-term goals.

Life Coaching | Mastery Phase (requires completion of 1 & 2 above)

12+ sessions (every 3-4 weeks; 9+ months)

This phase will support you to:
+ Achieve your medium-term goals;
+ Further expand your awareness and integration of the first two phases into new areas and new behaviours, for example authority and influence over others by being able to have coaching conversations with them;
+ Take the necessary and important first steps towards achieving your lifetime goals.

High-Performance phase (at any stage after Foundation Phase)

Frequency and duration varies per engagement

best life coaching for menThe possibility exists at any time for high-performance coaching for defined goals over a limited time period.

This may involve, for example, daily/weekly check-ins, and/or specific assessments and tools and working in regular partnership and collaboration with the coach to apply those tools.

The High Performance Phase may be done in parallel with any other phase, or exclusively.

What is the investment?

Coaching involves taking risks, stretching oneself and making commitments. The question to ask yourself when considering the fees is, “Can I create this much – or more – value in my life if I get these few things right (the things I’m looking to improve through coaching)?” If you think so, then it’s a no-brainer; if you think not, then you might need coaching more than you’re willing to admit!

enneagram report and debriefI offer a personality profile assessment which is probably the most in-depth and multidimensional report on the market. It doesn’t just tell you what you already know, or what you could just as well tell me. The debrief will reveal things about you that even a psychologist or coach would take months to figure out, if they ever did.

The report offers feedback through five lenses. One of these is the Enneagram, which is a very accurate way of finding out some important things about you. In particular, it reveals what your main triggers are that cause you to flip to the negative side of your personality. It also reveals what your main gifts or contributions are when you’re operating on the positive side.

You can’t get the report alone, you need to receive a debrief. (I will send you a link; you’ll complete the questionnaire, which takes about an hour; then we’ll meet online for a 90-minute debrief.)

enneagram report and debrief

What you’ll get:

  • 43-page Personal Feedback Report
  • 90-minute Personal Debrief
  • Five Lens All-In-One Graphic

Investment R2,500

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In conjunction with the Enneagram Report and Debrief, I offer a comprehensive package which includes the report and a debrief plus three additional personalised sessions (phone/Skype) to help you unlock the full value of the report and so create a greater return on your investment.

This package is the ideal solution if you are at a crossroads in your life; you feel you don’t need a full coaching program, and yet you probably do need a little more than just a kick in the pants.

The total investment in this package is R4,900, so that’s an additional R800 per session, which is a fraction of my usual rate.

The Potentiate Package includes:

  • 43-page Personal Feedback Report
  • 90-minute Personal Debrief
  • Five Lens All-In-One Graphic
  • 3 x Follow-up Coaching Sessions*

enneagram report and debrief

* These sessions are to ensure you really understand what the report says about you, by getting the chance to:
+ ask questions after having had time to reflect
+ make sure you understand your strengths and how to leverage them;
+ recognise what the key areas are that you need to develop for yourself.

Investment USD350 (R4,900.00)

BOOK NOW!

life coaching

The third level of engagement is the full Life Coaching program.

This phase will support you to: create a foundation of awareness about what limits you as a human being; break through any barriers you may have; ignite the necessary behavioural shifts; achieve your short-term goals.

I usually begin with the Enneagram Report and Debrief mentioned above. This gives us both some deep insight into the person we are working with—you. After the debrief, I will ask you to complete and submit an Objectives questionnaire, which we will use to co-author the objectives for the coaching program. We will then engage for 10 sessions, and finish with a close-out session where we review your progress and decide on further options, if any.

The standard Life Coaching (Foundation Phase) program includes:

  • Five Lens Personal Feedback Report
  • 90-minute Debrief
  • 1 x Objectives Session
  • 10 x Coaching Sessions
  • 1 x Review Session

life coachingInvestment +/-R13,900
Discounted package rates apply—see below.
The Foundation Phase package, paid upfront:
R9,950 once-off payment (28% discount)
Payment plans are also offered:
R2,950 a month over four months (15% discount); or
R2,050 a month over six months (12% discount).

Baseline session rate for private individuals is R850.

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Client Testimonials

Winning all the top 2007 PRISM Awards for PR Excellence was the final exclamation point and validation of the coaching work that Neil had done with me some months earlier – plus my company enjoyed its best year ever in revenue terms.

Marcus Brewster, CEO, Marcus Brewster Publicity

I believe in myself more and have more confidence as a direct result of coaching with Neil. I would recommend the process for anyone looking to achieve a similar goal. It’s made a big difference to my life and career.

Neil Naidoo, Wesbank Auto

Coaching with Neil has added enormous value in terms of my career as an entrepreneur and consultant. My ability to evaluate opportunities and make good decisions is better than ever—plus I have more time with my family!

James Martin, Vantage Holdings

I found the interventions massively beneficial and my level of awareness in particular is at an all time high. The benefits of this and the visible impact on my business and personal life are immense.

Coll Macdonald, Invent Hospitality

Coaching with Neil was tough, but it helped me to focus on what I want out of situations and people, at home and at work. Also, to create definable steps towards the lifestyle I desire and the person I aspire to be.

Dirk Wilson, Entrepreneur
The impact on my personal and work-life has been amazing. Taking control of what happens to me has changed me from a victim into a successful leader at work and a happier being with success in all areas of my life.
Marpie Betts

Stimulating, awakening, cutting to your inner, hidden self. Rewarding, very worthwhile, very necessary. The process is important to experience if you are truly looking to better yourself.

Athol McLean, Chiropractor

I attended [the Authentic Success Program] looking for answers to improve my life. I leave knowing that I held the answers all the time, I just have to apply a few simple principles in order to activate them.

Guy Johnstone, Hotelier

Neil was brilliant at presenting [the Authentic Success Program] and supported us through the process. I am confident that it will send me on the life path I have been seeking for so long.

Jeremy Kropman, Engineer

If you think you don’t need “authentic success” you are ready for this program. It will open up a new world of possibility you never knew existed. I would recommend it for anybody looking to improve their life.

John Mullins, Coach

The experience opens one’s eyes to the possibility of taking control of one’s future – not being a rudderless ship but rather one that is on course in the sea of life. I’m sure it will make a difference for others too.

Grant Back, Pilot
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