I’M LEARNING to listen. To really listen. Of course, coaching is all about listening and so I could say I’m a trained professional listener and that’s the end of it, but then I wouldn’t be listening anymore – listening for what there is to still listen for.
The movie Tornado is a story about a guy who learns to sit through the night, listening to a horse, and through his listening, he becomes healed, and heals the horse. I’ve been practising this, with my son, with myself – sitting up, not all night, but some of it, and listening, really listening. It’s amazing what has come up. Most of us are so busy trying to solve the problem that we don’t listen for the solution. Coaching has taught me that we all know the answer to every problem, we just aren’t listening to ourselves.
They measure the depth of the ocean by dropping a sonar beam, and measuring the time it takes to hit the ocean floor and return. The way to listen to yourself is to drop a question, let it fall all the way down to the bottom, and see what comes up. Repeat, until you have your answer, or your next question.
Listening requires courage, and the willingness to face what comes up. When we’re afraid to hear, we actually turn up the volume of our own internal noise. So you first have to be willing to face what comes up. Then when you become still, and really listen, and then listen some more, the answers will come to you. Good coaching is about getting the client to hear himself. It’s the art of listening.
If you can’t hear yourself, and you want to, then find someone who can help you listen: find a good coach.