TRYING TO hold onto things as they are and have a different experience of life at the same time is like trying to sit when you stand. It’s like the child who, hands already full, reaches for another toy, then realises she would have to give something up. Let’s say the thing she chooses to give up is at the bottom of the pile she already holds; she would have to let go of everything, regather what she wants to keep, and add the new thing.

When life is no longer fulfilling, it’s impossible to hold on to all that you have and squeeze fulfilment out of it. You have to let go of something, maybe everything, see how things fall, and regather what you can – what you still want to. Chaos is a necessary precursor to a higher level of order. It’s the dip you have to go through to get the rewards that you seek.

Getting through that dip requires courage, commitment, a definite goal, the belief that taking these particular actions will get you to that goal, and the willingness to handle and endure the chaos that ensues.

People who promise success and fulfilment seldom tell you this. I like to ask my clients before they jump: Are you ready for the consequences? Are prepared to take responsibility?