COACHING FOR MEN

Man, Are You Living Your Best Life?

Most men who face challenges think they’re the only ones. They think they should be able to face it alone. They look around at their friends’ apparently perfect lives and ask themselves, What’s wrong with me? To be honest, nothing. Everybody’s facing issues, it’s just a question of how much. You are not alone and you should not try to face it alone.

best life coaching for men

WONDERING WHETHER you’re a candidate for Coaching for Men? Have a look at the list below and score yourself on your own level of satisfaction with each of these items:

  • A relationship with a great woman that has mutual love and respect, and a few real male friendships.

  • A career and a job that makes you excited to get up and go to work each day.

  • Being properly healthy, wealthy and wise. Knowing that you know what you’re doing in this fast-changing world, and not just be guessing all the time.

  • Being a man of your word, a man who knows what he wants. Having sense of knowing who you are and where you’re going, and being proud of that.

  • Someone to talk to, to bounce things off, because your friends are all just about joking, and hiding it just as well as you do. Get over yourself, man, and have another beer!

No man is an island

If these are things that you honestly would want, and you’re not achieving them; or if you’re young and are sure you’ll get them, then watch yourself. Don’t do what I did, what most men, including your buddies, do and retreat into the workshop of your own mind, and try to fix it all yourself.

In the old days, men did that. They fixed their own cars, too. There was no coaching for men back then, just as there were no cell phones, or computers. These days, cars are just too hi-tech, so you take it to a specialist; you earn what’s needed and you pay for the service. The same applies to your life. There are so many more moving parts in this day and age, and the old reference points of old boy’s club, social norms and religion no longer suffice. Being a husband, a lover, a father, a boss, a work colleague, and staying fit and healthy in a world of abundant temptations, just isn’t what it used to be. The old, stoic, John Wayne approach just doesn’t work anymore.

That’s why Coaching for Men exists and that’s why it can help you.

The bottom line is, you can be silent (as in try to work it all out in your head) or you can be successful in all of those areas of your life. It’s up to you.

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Which life phase are you in?

Coaching for Men is relevant for all men in all phases of life. The list below will give a sense of the typical issues that men seek to address during each phase, and which coaching can make a difference on.

For young men recently out of school, studying, or otherwise making important life choices, the world can be a confusing place. There is a host of contradictory messages and things happen at an unprecedented pace.

At the same time, liberal, modern upbringings often fail to deliver the old-fashioned elements of manhood. Yes, those things like self-discipline, focus, accountability, honour and integrity. Nevertheless, life still demands these, even from boys who can cry.

Leverage strengths, manage triggers

Coaching for Men can support young men to learn a method of self-management, otherwise known as discipline. It can help them to recognize and develop their strengths. It can show them how to leverage those in a future that will look very different. It can also help them to recognise and manage their own reactive triggers—those things we all do when we’re at our worst and which eventually lead us into trouble.

Through all of the above, it can help them to anticipate the unseen pitfalls that an over-reliance on youthful optimism may bring about.

For young, adult men embarking on a serious career path, marriage and/or fatherhood, there is often the question of how to take on commitments without losing oneself.

Those who ask this question now, and deal with it effectively through a program like Coaching for Men, are more likely to develop a strong and stable sense of self and less likely to wake up in crisis at 40.

It’s the relationship, stupid

The pressures mount quickly during this phase. In addition to the above, developing an effective coping style and learning the art of relating to others (spouse, children, colleagues, friends) is a survival-level requirement.

Some young men seek to go one step further: they want to develop a life philosophy and learn to inspire others to follow it.

If we are honest, most men only begin to have an idea of what’s going on at this stage of life. Some make the mistake of trying to do it all again, but bigger, better, faster, harder. Others retreat stoically and risk the slide into despair. Neither approach is appropriate if one wants to end the game with some mix of achievement, fulfilment, wisdom and joy.

The question most men have at this stage is how to have another go at life, taking into account all one has learned, and as far as possible without doing harm. What many fail to understand or accept is that the answers are never black and white. In addition, the force and drive that they rode to distant horizons in the first half of the journey are not the vehicles for the way back.

Transition, or crisis?

There has been a lot said about the midlife crisis, and people are quick to make fun of it. Yet it’s a necessary and inevitable phase. Approached with conscious intent, it can be managed with dignity. A man can emerge from it with greater wisdom and personal power.

Coaching for Men is about understanding that the task of the second half of life involves coming to terms with perceived failures. It’s about letting go of the impact of wrong decisions and missed opportunities that will never come back. It’s about allowing the truth of oneself to come out. Then it’s about integrating the Sessions and setting a meaningful course for the power years that lie ahead.

Men have received a lot of bad press lately, and it’s often directed at, or felt most acutely by, the men in this phase: the power years. Most have kept their head down, worked hard and done what they were told, and find themselves exactly where they ought to be. Yet they carry the blame for thousands of years of history.

What nobody except them seems to know is just how much they’ve had to sacrifice of themselves in order to do what was expected, even demanded, of them.

Fifty is the new thirty

Then there are those who feel that, despite equally keeping their heads down and staying at it, they have missed out. Fortunately, in this era, longevity gives us greater hope for another round. As the saying goes, “fifty is the new thirty”.

The main issue that many men seek to deal with during this phase is making sure that at least the most meaningful life goals are achieved. Beyond achieving those goals, many men seek to define and create a legacy. Some want to establish a vision for “giving back”. Coaching for Men is designed to support men to integrate all the Sessions they have learned and apply that towards attaining these goals.

Men are made to work. While many men aim to “retire by 40”, that usually doesn’t mean they want to stop working or doing stuff. Instead, it means they want to put money to work rather than work for money.

Then there are those men who would rather die than retire and stay home. And some do—die, that is: soon after they are forced into retirement.

Rewiring not retiring

The notion of retirement was established in order to create jobs for young men entering the work force during the Industrial Age. In the Information Age, and given the increase in health and longevity, retiring has become “rewiring”.

In many cases this simply means older men who seek to leverage the value of their experience. Many have not planned adequately for their retirement and need to do this out of necessity. For those who have, this represents the chance to do something that they were not able to do when climbing the corporate ladder and supporting a family. Then there are those who are all about finding ways to give back, whether by setting up funds or mentoring others.

Either way, Coaching for Men can help you create a meaningful journey for this phase of life.

Testimonials

coaching for men

Winning all the top 2007 PRISM Awards for PR Excellence was the final exclamation point and validation of the coaching work that Neil had done with me some months earlier – plus my company enjoyed its best year ever in revenue terms.

Marcus Brewster, CEO, Marcus Brewster Publicity

I believe in myself more and have more confidence as a direct result of coaching with Neil. I would recommend the process for anyone looking to achieve a similar goal. It’s made a big difference to my life and career.

Neil Naidoo, Wesbank Auto

Coaching with Neil has added enormous value in terms of my career as an entrepreneur and consultant. My ability to evaluate opportunities and make good decisions is better than ever—plus I have more time with my family!

James Martin, Vantage Holdings

I found the interventions massively beneficial and my level of awareness in particular is at an all time high. The benefits of this and the visible impact on my business and personal life are immense.

Coll Macdonald, Invent Hospitality

Coaching with Neil was tough, but it helped me to focus on what I want out of situations and people, at home and at work. Also, to create definable steps towards the lifestyle I desire and the person I aspire to be.

Dirk Wilson, Entrepreneur
The impact on my personal and work-life has been amazing. Taking control of what happens to me has changed me from a victim into a successful leader at work and a happier being with success in all areas of my life.
Marpie Betts

Stimulating, awakening, cutting to your inner, hidden self. Rewarding, very worthwhile, very necessary. The process is important to experience if you are truly looking to better yourself.

Athol McLean, Chiropractor

I attended [the Authentic Success Program] looking for answers to improve my life. I leave knowing that I held the answers all the time, I just have to apply a few simple principles in order to activate them.

Guy Johnstone, Hotelier

Neil was brilliant at presenting [the Authentic Success Program] and supported us through the process. I am confident that it will send me on the life path I have been seeking for so long.

Jeremy Kropman, Engineer

If you think you don’t need “authentic success” you are ready for this program. It will open up a new world of possibility you never knew existed. I would recommend it for anybody looking to improve their life.

John Mullins, Coach

The experience opens one’s eyes to the possibility of taking control of one’s future – not being a rudderless ship but rather one that is on course in the sea of life. I’m sure it will make a difference for others too.

Grant Back, Pilot

What is Coaching for Men?

best life coaching for men

Coaching for Men is not psychoanalysis and it’s not New Age mumbo jumbo. There’s no airy-fairy stuff, no spilling your guts or baring your soul. You don’t even have to share all the details of what you’re working through. You state your own goals, and then face down a bunch of strong, clear questions that give you the clarity to see what’s standing in your way, and what you need to do. The questions are designed to give you instant clarity, focus and purpose. It’s like calling in a lawnmower specialist. You’ll wonder why you ever struggled for so long with that issue.

Coaching for Men is a series of intensive one-on-one sessions of 45-60 minutes duration, conducted in person or by telephone / Skype. Sessions are held weekly/fortnightly for the first phase, fortnightly for the (optional, recommended) second phase, and fortnightly / monthly thereafter for the third phase (also optional, and recommended). It is designed specifically for men who seek a strong reference point for an authentic sense of self in a fragmented world.

The questioning process is joined by a process of accountability (checking that you follow through and do what you decide) and awareness creation (how life really works and how, by applying certain simple principles and practices, you can make it work for you).

Climbing the inner mountain

Most men want to do something heroic, like climb Kilimanjaro. Such acts are noble and accomplishing them will give any man a strong sense of satisfaction and pride. In particular, he will feel that he’s conquered his own inner mountain of fear and doubt.

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Then he’ll go back into his workshop of his mind and try to figure out how to apply that to his own day-to-day life. Mostly, the answers he’ll come up with will be the same ones, only he’ll be more determined than ever to stick it out in slience. If he does, he’s doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes.

The Coaching for Men process confronts you with that inner mountain right here and now as it applies in your own life and shows you how to apply the inner strength that you already have with wisdom in order to effect change and get results. If you can face up to the process you’ll come away a richer person with a deeper appreciation of yourself, your life and others. You will see different results in your life.

Outcomes you can expect

  • Being able to recognize and change disempowering internal beliefs;

  • The awareness to instantly redirect negative thoughts, moods, emotions;

  • The strength to change destructive and unwanted habits;

  • The ability to accurately observe and gain insights into yourself (without unnecessary self-analysis);

  • A sense of knowing who you are, what you deserve, and how to get there;

  • The power to express yourself in the world and demonstrate the results that you feel you deserve.

What this can do for your life

  • Improved moods and energy;

  • Clarity of purpose and decisiveness;

  • Being firm, and being flexible;

  • Confidence in the future;

  • Inspiring and influencing others;

  • Improved relationships;

  • Getting off your butt and not procrastinating;

  • Actually achieving goals that you set yourself;

  • A broader view of how the world works;

  • General sense of well-being and happiness.

How is the Coaching for Men program structured?

The following are discreet phases. Phase 1 is the natural starting point and is your standard entry-level coaching program. The other levels are optional, depending on how far you want to take it.

Coaching for Men | Foundation Phase (required)

12 sessions (weekly / fortnightly; 3-6 months)

best life coaching for men

This phase will support you to:
+ Recognise your strengths and those unique gifts that you may not have given yourself credit for;
+ Create a foundation of awareness about what limits you as a human being;
+ Break through any barriers you may have;
+ Ignite the necessary behavioural shifts;
+ Achieve your short-term goals.

Coaching for Men | Integration Phase (requires completion of Foundation Phase)

12 sessions (every 2-3 weeks; 6-9 months)

best life coaching for menThis phase will support you to:
+ Integrate the awareness gained and behaviours established during the Foundation Phase into all areas of your life and in a variety of situations (broaden the integration);
+ Establish new behaviours as habits (deepen the integration);
+ Take the necessary and important first steps towards achieving your medium-term goals.

Coaching for Men | Mastery Phase (requires completion of 1 & 2 above)

12+ sessions (every 3-4 weeks; 9+ months)

best life coaching for men mastery phaseThis phase will support you to:
+ Achieve your medium-term goals;
+ Further expand your awareness and integration of the first two phases into new areas and new behaviours, for example authority and influence over others by being able to have coaching conversations with them;
+ Take the necessary and important first steps towards achieving your lifetime goals.

High-Performance phase (at any stage after Foundation Phase)

Frequency and duration varies per engagement

best life coaching for menThe possibility exists at any time for high-performance coaching for defined goals over a limited time period.

This may involve, for example, daily/weekly check-ins, and/or specific assessments and tools and working in regular partnership and collaboration with the coach to apply those tools.

The High Performance Phase may be done in parallel with any other phase, or exclusively.

What is the investment?

Coaching involves taking risks, stretching oneself and making commitments. The question to ask yourself when considering the fees is, “Can I create this much – or more – value in my life if I get these few things right (the things I’m looking to improve through coaching)?” If you think so, then it’s a no-brainer; if you think not, then you might need coaching more than you’re willing to admit!

enneagram report and debriefI offer a personality profile assessment which is probably the most in-depth and multidimensional report on the market. It doesn’t just tell you what you already know, or what you could just as well tell me. The debrief will reveal things about you that even a psychologist or coach would take months to figure out, if they ever did.

The report offers feedback through five lenses. One of these is the Enneagram, which is a very accurate way of finding out some important things about you. In particular, it reveals what your main triggers are that cause you to flip to the negative side of your personality. It also reveals what your main gifts or contributions are when you’re operating on the positive side.

You can’t get the report alone, you need to receive a debrief. (I will send you a link; you’ll complete the questionnaire, which takes about an hour; then we’ll meet online for a 90-minute debrief.)

enneagram report and debrief

What you’ll get:

  • 43-page Personal Feedback Report
  • 90-minute Personal Debrief
  • Five Lens All-In-One Graphic

Investment R2,500

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In conjunction with the Enneagram Report and Debrief, I offer a comprehensive package which includes the report and a debrief plus three additional personalised sessions (phone/Skype) to help you unlock the full value of the report and so create a greater return on your investment.

This package is the ideal solution if you are at a crossroads in your life; you feel you don’t need a full coaching program, and yet you probably do need a little more than just a kick in the pants.

The total investment in this package is R4,900, so that’s an additional R800 per session, which is a fraction of my usual rate.

The Potentiate Package includes:

  • 43-page Personal Feedback Report
  • 90-minute Personal Debrief
  • Five Lens All-In-One Graphic
  • 3 x Follow-up Coaching Sessions*

enneagram report and debrief

* These sessions are to ensure you really understand what the report says about you, by getting the chance to:
+ ask questions after having had time to reflect
+ make sure you understand your strengths and how to leverage them;
+ recognise what the key areas are that you need to develop for yourself.

Investment USD350 (R4,900.00)

BOOK NOW!

best life coaching for men

The third level of engagement is the full Coaching for Men program.

This phase will support you to: create a foundation of awareness about what limits you as a human being; break through any barriers you may have; ignite the necessary behavioural shifts; achieve your short-term goals.

I usually begin with the Enneagram Report and Debrief mentioned above. This gives us both some deep insight into the person we are working with—you. After the debrief, I will ask you to complete and submit an Objectives questionnaire, which we will use to co-author the objectives for the coaching program. We will then engage for 10 sessions, and finish with a close-out session where we review your progress and decide on further options, if any.

The standard Coaching for Men (Foundation Phase) program includes:

  • Five Lens Personal Feedback Report
  • 90-minute Debrief
  • 1 x Objectives Session
  • 10 x Coaching Sessions
  • 1 x Review Session

Investment +/-R14,500
coaching best life

Discounted package rates apply for each phase defined above, and a further discount is offered for upfront payment.
So the Foundation Phase package, for example, paid upfront, could be reduced to as little as R13,050.
Payment plans are also offered: R3,625 a month over four months, or R2,450 a month over six months.

Baseline session rate for private individuals is R1,250.

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Client Testimonials

Winning all the top 2007 PRISM Awards for PR Excellence was the final exclamation point and validation of the coaching work that Neil had done with me some months earlier – plus my company enjoyed its best year ever in revenue terms.

Marcus Brewster, CEO, Marcus Brewster Publicity

I believe in myself more and have more confidence as a direct result of coaching with Neil. I would recommend the process for anyone looking to achieve a similar goal. It’s made a big difference to my life and career.

Neil Naidoo, Wesbank Auto

Coaching with Neil has added enormous value in terms of my career as an entrepreneur and consultant. My ability to evaluate opportunities and make good decisions is better than ever—plus I have more time with my family!

James Martin, Vantage Holdings

I found the interventions massively beneficial and my level of awareness in particular is at an all time high. The benefits of this and the visible impact on my business and personal life are immense.

Coll Macdonald, Invent Hospitality

Coaching with Neil was tough, but it helped me to focus on what I want out of situations and people, at home and at work. Also, to create definable steps towards the lifestyle I desire and the person I aspire to be.

Dirk Wilson, Entrepreneur
The impact on my personal and work-life has been amazing. Taking control of what happens to me has changed me from a victim into a successful leader at work and a happier being with success in all areas of my life.
Marpie Betts

Stimulating, awakening, cutting to your inner, hidden self. Rewarding, very worthwhile, very necessary. The process is important to experience if you are truly looking to better yourself.

Athol McLean, Chiropractor

I attended [the Authentic Success Program] looking for answers to improve my life. I leave knowing that I held the answers all the time, I just have to apply a few simple principles in order to activate them.

Guy Johnstone, Hotelier

Neil was brilliant at presenting [the Authentic Success Program] and supported us through the process. I am confident that it will send me on the life path I have been seeking for so long.

Jeremy Kropman, Engineer

If you think you don’t need “authentic success” you are ready for this program. It will open up a new world of possibility you never knew existed. I would recommend it for anybody looking to improve their life.

John Mullins, Coach

The experience opens one’s eyes to the possibility of taking control of one’s future – not being a rudderless ship but rather one that is on course in the sea of life. I’m sure it will make a difference for others too.

Grant Back, Pilot
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