Save time and money by doing things with your full attention

A bucket only needs a tiny hole for all the water to run out. And carrying water in a sieve requires many more trips – and much more hurrying – than carrying it in a watertight container. This same principle applies to thought, activity, and concentration. When you read, for example, with your mind only half engaged, you end up having to read the same piece again and again to absorb all the content. This takes longer, and is often the consequence of being in a hurry.

Being in a hurry, and doing something in a way that takes longer must be the height of foolishness. Rather complete the thought that’s distracting you – follow it all the way to the end, or make a decision to think about it later – and then concentrate on the reading.

If your mind is only half on holiday, you’ll return exhausted

The same principle applies when you’re relaxing, or on holiday. If your mind is only half on holiday, you’ll not relax properly and then you’ll be exhausted, irritated and frustrated when you return. You’ll have wasted money on the holiday too. So it is for all activities, do them with your complete attention. If something’s distracting you, deal with it first, or decide to deal with it later. Do this properly, and you’ll only need one meeting to conclude a matter, one conversation to clear up an argument, one short holiday – or even just a catnap – to relax properly.

When you’re wondering how you’re doing, so is the other guy

We don’t admit this much, but we do it: We wonder what another men think of us. Often this comes up as, ‘He’s an asshole,’ and we criticise him instead. In other words, as before the thought arises, ‘I wonder what he thinks of me,’ before we’ve even allowed ourselves to think it (because that would be such an unmanly thing to worry about) we block out the thought by denigrating the other guy in our head instead.

Guess what? He’s probably doing the same thing. Yes, whether we admit it or not, everybody’s ego is in overdrive to look good, everybody wants the other person to like them. So next time you find yourself criticizing another guy in your head, check and see if on some level you do in fact care what he thinks of you. (Clue: the answer is always, ‘Yes!’)

If you say something positive, you take
on an air of authority and confidence

If you can admit that, the second step is to realise that he’s probably NOT thinking the things about you that you think he’s thinking. Those things are going on for you, inside your own head. Don’t project your own self-hatred onto the other poor guy, don’t make assumptions. He’s just as worried about himself, and anything he thinks is coming from that same space.

Of course, all this shows up as mockery and teasing, the typical male banter that leaves one guy out in the cold to fend for himself. Break this cycle by saying something positive, perhaps complimenting the other guy. If you do this you become the bigger person, and by doing that you take on an air of authority and confidence. That’s what he’ll think of you!